Not Quite.
Look in the mirror, what do you see?
For a moment in time, this is what I saw:
Hair. Straight, but not quite straight enough. Curly, but not quite curly enough either. Not quite.
Eyes. Brown. Not hazel or any other colour that would turn heads. Just brown. And when I smiled, I looked almost Asian. Almost. Just not quite.
Nose. Round. Not long or pointy. Not quite as nice as those I saw in the magazines.
Lips. Full. Full of colour, full of life. Too full maybe. Not quite as perfectly shaped as that fashion model I saw in the pictures in the Cosmopolitan magazine.
Teeth. Gap toothed. Why didn't my parents ever consider braces? They are way too skew. Not quite perfect. Far from it.
Arms. Not quite as toned as that star athlete at school. They are actually a bit saggy. Not quite good enough actually.
Oh honey and those breasts. Certainly not quite as big as they should be. They don't fill those cups as they should. Quite frankly, they are not what the boys like. They are quite small. Just not big enough. Not quite good enough.
Your waist is not small enough either. You'd never become a model unless you lose a few centimeters in your waist area. A lot actually. But until then, it's not small enough. Not quite.
Oh and that ass. Way too big if you ask me. I mean, who has ever seen a model with so much junk in their trunk? It just won't cut it. That ass is not quite small enough to suit a fashion model's size. Not quite.
Don't even get me started on those calves and feet. Why are they so big anyway? It's so unlady like. Just not quite cute at all.
For a brief moment in time, those were my thoughts. Thank God it was brief though. Yes. This absurdity did not last too long.
Because soon, my hair was not an issue when I realized others longed for it.
My eyes made me me.
I grew into my nose too (thank God).
And my lips, they were pretty awesome.
My teeth gave me so much character. I fell in love with my gap.
My arms were something I could work on; and my breasts, boy did they at least grow a bit.
My waist looked smaller because my hips and ass got bigger. And I loved it. Oh how I loved it!
And my height made up for my big feet.
I also did not want to become an unbearably thin supermodel anymore.
I grew into myself. But more than that. I grew.
I became confident. I spent time with myself, found comfort in my solitude. I had battles I fought inside. Those were the hardest. But after each battle, I learned more about myself. Some things I liked. Others I didn't. But I never stopped learning. And embracing. And accepting. I never stopped.
Only when I accepted what was inside, could I truly accept the outside. Big calves and all. When what was inside changed, the outside changed too, some aspects for the better, and others not so much. But most importantly, the change that occurred within me allowed me to accept the physical changes. This was probably the most beautiful process I had gone through in my life. Painful, but beautiful.
The latest trend we are faced with today is this need or desire for perfection. Especially among women. Women strive to be perfect. So we bleach our skin. Nip and tuck. Inject where we want more. Remove what we don't want. And while this happens, I can't help but think, what about what's on the inside? Has the outside taken over and changed so much, that the inside cannot possibly catch up or even comprehend this change? Money seems to be the cure to many problems or flaws we have. Money can fix crooked teeth or give you perfect breasts. Money can also give you that beautiful round behind you so long for. And in this process of perfection, what happens to us? Is this outside image of perfection complimented with an inside feeling of contentment? Or not quite?
You see, the thing is this: Until we have made peace with ourselves and accepted our flaws, we will never truly be happy with what's on the outside. We will easily be swayed by the masses. Our bodies will become a commodity. The more we have, the more we will want. With each stretch mark we are able to remove from our skin, we will lose a piece of who we truly are on the inside. We will lose ourselves if we cannot fully accept ourselves. And even then, a bigger ass will not make up for it. Nor will bigger breasts or flawless skin. Outside perfection will mean nothing unless inward peace has been found. A perfect body does not quite make up for a restless Soul.
Not quite.
I hope you can dig deep within yourself and make peace with the person inside. Before you try to change the outside. I promise you, it will be the most beautiful journey you embark on. And it will bring you joy. And peace. And beauty. Beauty that radiates from the inside.
Take Care.
Miss Stone
For a moment in time, this is what I saw:
Hair. Straight, but not quite straight enough. Curly, but not quite curly enough either. Not quite.
Eyes. Brown. Not hazel or any other colour that would turn heads. Just brown. And when I smiled, I looked almost Asian. Almost. Just not quite.
Nose. Round. Not long or pointy. Not quite as nice as those I saw in the magazines.
Lips. Full. Full of colour, full of life. Too full maybe. Not quite as perfectly shaped as that fashion model I saw in the pictures in the Cosmopolitan magazine.
Teeth. Gap toothed. Why didn't my parents ever consider braces? They are way too skew. Not quite perfect. Far from it.
Arms. Not quite as toned as that star athlete at school. They are actually a bit saggy. Not quite good enough actually.
Oh honey and those breasts. Certainly not quite as big as they should be. They don't fill those cups as they should. Quite frankly, they are not what the boys like. They are quite small. Just not big enough. Not quite good enough.
Your waist is not small enough either. You'd never become a model unless you lose a few centimeters in your waist area. A lot actually. But until then, it's not small enough. Not quite.
Oh and that ass. Way too big if you ask me. I mean, who has ever seen a model with so much junk in their trunk? It just won't cut it. That ass is not quite small enough to suit a fashion model's size. Not quite.
Don't even get me started on those calves and feet. Why are they so big anyway? It's so unlady like. Just not quite cute at all.
For a brief moment in time, those were my thoughts. Thank God it was brief though. Yes. This absurdity did not last too long.
Because soon, my hair was not an issue when I realized others longed for it.
My eyes made me me.
I grew into my nose too (thank God).
And my lips, they were pretty awesome.
My teeth gave me so much character. I fell in love with my gap.
My arms were something I could work on; and my breasts, boy did they at least grow a bit.
My waist looked smaller because my hips and ass got bigger. And I loved it. Oh how I loved it!
And my height made up for my big feet.
I also did not want to become an unbearably thin supermodel anymore.
I grew into myself. But more than that. I grew.
I became confident. I spent time with myself, found comfort in my solitude. I had battles I fought inside. Those were the hardest. But after each battle, I learned more about myself. Some things I liked. Others I didn't. But I never stopped learning. And embracing. And accepting. I never stopped.
Only when I accepted what was inside, could I truly accept the outside. Big calves and all. When what was inside changed, the outside changed too, some aspects for the better, and others not so much. But most importantly, the change that occurred within me allowed me to accept the physical changes. This was probably the most beautiful process I had gone through in my life. Painful, but beautiful.
The latest trend we are faced with today is this need or desire for perfection. Especially among women. Women strive to be perfect. So we bleach our skin. Nip and tuck. Inject where we want more. Remove what we don't want. And while this happens, I can't help but think, what about what's on the inside? Has the outside taken over and changed so much, that the inside cannot possibly catch up or even comprehend this change? Money seems to be the cure to many problems or flaws we have. Money can fix crooked teeth or give you perfect breasts. Money can also give you that beautiful round behind you so long for. And in this process of perfection, what happens to us? Is this outside image of perfection complimented with an inside feeling of contentment? Or not quite?
You see, the thing is this: Until we have made peace with ourselves and accepted our flaws, we will never truly be happy with what's on the outside. We will easily be swayed by the masses. Our bodies will become a commodity. The more we have, the more we will want. With each stretch mark we are able to remove from our skin, we will lose a piece of who we truly are on the inside. We will lose ourselves if we cannot fully accept ourselves. And even then, a bigger ass will not make up for it. Nor will bigger breasts or flawless skin. Outside perfection will mean nothing unless inward peace has been found. A perfect body does not quite make up for a restless Soul.
Not quite.
I hope you can dig deep within yourself and make peace with the person inside. Before you try to change the outside. I promise you, it will be the most beautiful journey you embark on. And it will bring you joy. And peace. And beauty. Beauty that radiates from the inside.
Take Care.
Miss Stone
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