Woman.

It is tough being a woman.

The world tells us we should be gentle and kind and humble and raise children and care for our families. And these are all things we seem to do with ease. Love and nurturance comes naturally to us. This is what society expects of us; what society has expected of us for centuries. 

But what happens when a woman wants to be more than this? When we want to be loving and kind and humble but also go fiercely and fearlessly after our dreams that do not include children or running households? What happens when a woman slays dragons and builds empires and that is part of who she wants to be too? Well then we are told we are too controlling, that we are not humble and that we think we have it all. We are criticized for being too much or thinking we are too much. 

I've been struggling with this. I've been in situations where people have not explicitly stated it, but insinuated that I should feel bad for everything I have. 

I've been told I think I have everything and now people should dance to the beat of my drum because of this. 

I am sorry that my light shines so bright it makes yours seem dimmer, but I will not shine any less because you cannot handle it. 

I have worked hard in the last few years. I've had to fight battles no one knows about. I've had to check myself and prove my worth in environments that did not think this Coloured woman was worth much. And still, it meant nothing. I've bent so much for people who would not do the same for me. And I've questioned myself many times. But with time, I realized it was society that had certain expectations of me; expectations I simply could not meet. I wanted to be more than good. I wanted to be extraordinary. And because I strived for that, I threatened some kind of equilibrium. I created discomfort. 

That's what happens when a woman wants more. They create discomfort. Because they are not what you expect, they throw you off balance and in so doing, threatens what you know. When people are caught off balance, their instincts tell them to fight. Most often they fight dirty. They tell you that you are controlling. They tell you that you think you have everything and that because of this, you think you have made it. They try to break you down. They try to make you feel bad for being able to slay dragons, while still being gentle and loving and taking care of the family. They cannot understand how you, a woman, can have everything your heart desires and not be steered by society's expectations and the old fashioned low standards that are set out for us.

I am sorry that my light shines so bright it hurts your eyes. But I will not dim it. Put on shades and allow your eyes to adjust to the brightness. 

I am sorry that my greatness and my dreams are not within your comprehension, but I will not play small because my dreams seem too big for you. 

I am sorry that the person I am brings you discomfort, but I will not fit into a box because that makes you feel better equipped to handle me. I do not wish to tick your boxes. 

I am a woman. Unapologetically. Like Dr Maya Angelou stated so eloquently. We are allowed to break barriers. We can wear capes and fight enemies and then go home and wear slippers and cook meals. We do not have to choose one over the other; they can co-exist in perfect harmony. If it creates a disequilibrium for you, then that cannot be our problem. 

Women can be bold and fierce, but gentle too. We do not have to tick your boxes. Or dim our light, or be cut down to size. We do not have to fade into the background. Why should we? 

It is tough being a woman. But God made sure that He made us just right. Soft and loving, but resilient too. And it may get hard sometimes, but we were not build to fit into boxes. We were meant to stand out and shine our light. You can deal with your discomfort in the process, but do not try to make us feel bad for our growth. 

This is me. This is us. We are we. 

And we shall not be broken. 

Take Care

Miss Stone