Be Inspired by Miss Stone

Young Girl, don't you ever lose your wonder...   I remember many times, in this so called new South Africa, when I was treated differently because of the colour of my skin or the language I spoke. I cannot remember how many times I walked into a store in this city and was mistreated because I spoke English. As soon as I spoke Afrikaans, I was greeted slightly louder, the barely there smile grew bigger and the below par service I received was suddenly on par. Because I changed the language I spoke. Now, Afrikaans is my mother tongue, so I have no problem speaking it, but this behaviour shows me that to some, Afrikaans is superior. Better than. Higher than. Dominant.   This morning when I woke up, we were faced with more problems. Hair. The Afro. When you Google 'Afro', the first definition you find is this: 'A hairstyle consisting of a mass of very tight curls that stick out all round the head, like the natural hair of some Black people....

Look in the mirror, what do you see? For a moment in time, this is what I saw: Hair. Straight, but not quite straight enough. Curly, but not quite curly enough either. Not quite. Eyes. Brown. Not hazel or any other colour that would turn heads. Just brown. And when I smiled, I looked almost Asian. Almost. Just not quite. Nose. Round. Not long or pointy. Not quite as nice as those I saw in the magazines. Lips. Full. Full of colour, full of life. Too full maybe. Not quite as perfectly shaped as that fashion model I saw in the pictures in the Cosmopolitan magazine. Teeth. Gap toothed. Why didn't my parents ever consider braces? They are way too skew. Not quite perfect. Far from it. Arms. Not quite as toned as that star athlete at school. They are actually a bit saggy. Not quite good enough actually. Oh honey and those breasts. Certainly not quite as big as they should be. They don't fill those cups as they should. Quite frankly, they are not what the boys like. They are q...

I've been thinking of what to write for a while now, but nothing came to mind. I just could not think of anything worthy of posting. Well, not anything I thought would be inspiring anyway. I've been in a good place. Things have been falling into place. But yet, I still felt a bit frazzled for the past two weeks or so. And then, this 5 year old walked into my life and changed things. What is it about children that makes one feel so happy? Like authentically happy. The laughing from your stomach kinda happy. A 5 year old boy walked into my office today and sat down at my desk while I was doing my admin. He proceeded to draw a picture for me. One of the things he drew on the page was a snake. Looking up at me, he said 'I know you are probably afraid of snakes, so if we ever see one, you can hide behind me and I will kill the snake.' This left me in awe. Did I mention he is 5? As he continued playing in my office, I occasionally had to get up and do other things, but...

I used to wonder what it would be like. You know, living out my dream. It took me a while to get here. I had to jump over a few hurdles along the way. But I think now, it's finally sunk in. I obtained that Masters degree in Clinical Psychology and now my possibilities seem endless. I love what I do. I love waking up in the morning and giving thanks to the Lord, for blessing me, yes, but mostly for my happiness. For the sun that is shining on me again. For the opportunity I have been given to shine my light onto others. Marianne Williamson was right when she said 'It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.' For the longest time my light scared the living daylights out of me. Not anymore though. Not since I have learned just how bright it can shine. Now, there is no way I am dimming it for anyone or anything. God equips us with gifts. Talents. Strengths. Call it what you may. But he gives us these things, not to sit in a corner and wonder about how to u...

‘In the chaotic rubble, she still remembered who she was.’ - R.M. Drake How easy is it lose to yourself when the world around you makes no sense? When the windows shatter and the walls cave in. When the ceiling collapses and the foundation you thought was solid enough to survive countless earthquakes starts to crack. And when you are surrounded by nothing but rubble and dirt. Will you get lost in it? You cannot get lost in the fire when you know that your soul is ignited by the fire that lives within you. You cannot get washed away in the rain, when you allow it to cleanse you of the dirt that envelopes your body. You cannot drown in the ocean when you have submerged yourself in it, willingly, to heal the wounds that have covered your flesh. You, my dear, cannot sit in the rubble and become a part of it, when you know who you are. When in the depths of your soul, you have experienced pain and managed to heal yourself. When you have lived with pain and manag...

I was asked the other day ‘Toya, what does it feel like to be a woman?’ This question did catch me off guard for a while, but it made me think too. What is it to be a woman? What does it feel like? As part of my answer, I responded with a Maya Angelou quote and stated ‘Most times, when I walk, I feel like I have diamonds at the meeting of my thighs.’ I continued by saying being a woman is both majestic but so real. Painful too. God made us soft but also so strong. I walked away from this conversation feeling there was so much more I could have said. Yet, I could have said less too. And so, I turned to what I know best. Words. And I started writing. When I think of women, so many images come to mind. I think of my mother who raised so many children, both hers and that of others, but never once discriminated or gave her biological children special treatment. She sacrificed many of her own dreams so that we could live ours. Therefore, when my mother comes to mind, I thi...

Ever sold your soul to the devil for a quick buck? For a minute of pleasure? For some desire that only mortals need? Ever sold your soul to the devil?  I once believed in fairytales. I mean, haven't we all? But as we grow up, reality becomes more of a, well, reality. We realise that the plans we've made to get married and have children by the age of 30 seem nothing more than candy coated dreams; dreams that might take a few more years to come true. We realise that other things become more important. Yes, marriage and kids are still on the cards, but then work starts bringing you more pleasure, more satisfaction, more money, just more of what other things cannot bring you. Family members start needing you more. Other things require your attention. And your plans, they kind of get put on hold. Because they're plans, and they will develop, just not now. I have had quite a few sleepless nights these past few weeks. Wondering if the plans I have made need some alterati...